To Save Your Relationship; The Only Person You Can Change Is You

Most relationships that encounter problems seem to focus on the “who is to blame” element. This is not only destructive but is also an action that usually leads to more problems than solutions.

Have A Look

Being the “bigger” person within the equation, would allow the individual to take on the responsibility of acknowledging some change is needed, and that the change should ideally start with the individual itself. Being prepared to accept that some of the fault does indeed lie at the individual’s “feet” is a set in the right direction.

Taking the time and effort to explore the various reasons and actions that had a part in contributing to the current negativity of the relationship will help the individual realize that there is really no benefit in placing the blame on everyone and anyone else.

Successful recovery of a damaged relationship will be off to a good start when each person involved is willing to change for the better. This should be the main focus of the exercise as changing for the better will always be a more beneficial exercise that will eventually become so normal that the individual will no longer look upon such an exercise as something forced or unfair.

The positive changes will also help the individual become a better person, thus making the overall situation more pleasant and easy to improve upon. It is also almost always easier to change oneself rather than trying to change the other party in the relationship. Changing oneself does not require the constant maneuvering of another person’s physical and mental control.

Concentrating on being a better person and a more loving and caring partner will also encourage the other party to respond in an equally positive manner thus successfully allowing the relationship to improve for the better.

Places To Get Free Counseling

Marriage is hard work and anyone who says otherwise is not really committed to making it for the long haul. Along with the hard work there are also times of great joy and fulfillment, but when this is not forthcoming for quite a while, then, it is time to seek some outside help. This help ideally should come in the form of marriage counseling.

The following are some places that one should explore for the purpose of seeking outside help to try and save or create a better and stronger marriage relationship:

Where To Go

Reading as much as possible on the subject would be helpful. When there are problems published that are similar to the ones the individual is going through the general experience and outcome could be applied or at least tried. Sometimes it would be helpful to know that there are others that have gone through the same situation and that it is possible to overcome it successfully.

Seeking counseling from a priest is also another option for those who are more religiously inclined. This is helpful only if both parties are open and willing to explore options that are closely linked to the religious angle or take on things. This is also a very helpful option, if both parties are known to the priest taking on the counseling session, as it would give all concerned a better and clearly take on the whole situation.

For some joining a support group would be a more suitable match, as they would prefer to hear several different views on the matter and also for its non threatening and non judgmental base. Being in a group will allow both parties to be able to hear several different types or suggestions and opinions that may prove to be helpful and practical.

Make a List Of What Is Getting In The Way of you Getting Married

Once the goals for the marriage has been firmly outlined and accepted, there would be some follow up steps that should be taken to ensure the goals set are achieved without eventually contributing to the downfall of the relationship.

What’s In The Way

Making a list of the elements that could be possible contributing factors in not getting the goals achieved would be a wise and preemptive action to initiate. This will give both parties the leeway to be open and frank about their reservations and fears. It will also allow both parties to see each other weakness and strengths and work toward exploring the strengths and limiting the hold that the weaknesses may present.There are several things that would constitute actions that get in the way of achieving the end goals for the marriage.

Some of these may prove to be unfounded and quite easily managed and eradicated, while others may present more of a challenge to the couple. The ones that would be identifies as a challenge should be addressed without reservations to ensure these challenges don’t test the patience of both parties and also to ensure it does not in any way negatively affect the marriage.

Sometimes there is a need to prioritize the items on the list of marriage goals. Failing to do this could create the confusion and stress that could lead to the goals becoming a nightmare rather than a healthy focus for the couple. Being prepared and aware of the necessity to change priorities would also be another thing to consider and work on, as more often than not situations arise unexpectedly that can cause the goals set to become defunct.

Part of the list should be how to handle or address such possibilities.

Develop A Positive Attitude About Getting Help

Part of the growing process within a marriage relationship is to understand and accept the need for positive intervention when things are not going according to plan. Being able to seek such help is pivotal in keeping the marriage of the road to recovery rather than disaster.

The Attitude

The most difficult effort to make would be to not resort to seeking justice for the wronged feelings and experiences. The individual would have to be strong enough and to want the relationship badly enough, to get to the stage where there is a positive attitude in place to help salvage the marriage by getting help.

Bitterness will not help in any way, especially if the individual is interested in keeping a good grasp on the relationship. Despite the hurt and negativity, both parties should ideally try to seek help from professional outside forces that will help to move both parties forward and in a mode where damage control can be initiated.

Trusting that the help sought, will give both parties the opportunity to seek some form of resolve that will help to keep the marriage on the track to mending itself is very important. In most cases the trust issue within relationship is the first thing that becomes a matter of contention for both parties, therefore making the effort to develop a positive attitude to building back the trust is an important step in the right direction.

Forgiveness is another element that needs to be addressed in the process of cultivating a positive attitude. The positive impact of being ready to forgive can and usually does wonders for the failing relationship. A lot of people have attested to the success of salvaging the marriage when the positive element of forgiveness is widely and consciously practiced.

Marriage Counseling Basics

It is often difficult to try and save the marriage when both parties feel they are hitting a brick wall with their perceived attempts to being reasonable. The marriage counselor is usually an individual who is not interested in taking side but more interested in getting to the root of the problem and finding a workable solution to get the marriage back on the right track.

These people are usually specifically trained to help any and all situations that are created within the marriage that has gone badly wrong. Couple seeking the help of a marriage counselor, will usually come away quite surprised, at what they learn from the sessions.

In almost all cases, miscommunication and misinterpretation are the main culprits of the discord experienced within the marriage.

The Basics

The marriage counselor will be able to help the couple see things in a different light and then outline ways to help create a more conducive and workable situation where both parties can participate positively towards mending the relationship.

In helping the couple identify the problem both honestly and clearly, the counselor will then be able to get both parties to work on some exercises that will help them to understand each other better, thus allowing the couple to better face the problem head on when the appropriate time presents itself.

Attending marriage counseling session would also help the couple be more open as the counselor will certainly ask very probing question and will not allow either party to be evasive in their answers.This level of honestly is sometimes not forthcoming within the confines of the marriage.

Make A List Of Your Goals For Your Marriage

Although it may seem ideal to simply drift along through the marriage, it would help to create a stronger marriage bond if both parties work out some goals they can participate in achieving

The Goals

The goal setting exercise is important as it helps both parties strengthen their relationship by focusing on a common goal. It also helps to improve communication and creates the desire to help each other in a more conducive manner so that the goals set can be achieved without undue pressure.

The goals also help to validate each other’s contributions to the relationship and also keep both parties accountable and committed. Part of the goal setting process would require both parties to verbalize their dreams and aspirations for the relationship, thus giving each other a clear insight into the workings of their individual mindsets.

Creating a list individually and then taking the time to sit down together to try and collaborate in forming a new list that will serve each party’s needs comfortably, would be the ideal way to go about the whole exercise of setting goals.
Once this is done, both parties would then have to decide on some sort of time line that would be suitable and realistic in moving towards achieving the goals set.

This would include having to evaluate and re-evaluate certain values and mindset in order to make the goals set achievable. This time of sharing aspirations can be very enjoyable and enlightening if both parties maintain some level of intimacy and cordiality. Being accusational and demanding will not help the exercise of goal setting for the marriage. The act of sharing goals can often bring a couple closer together and also keep them more focused on each other throughout the exercise.

Tired of Being Single? Make Your Relationship

Goals Happen

Setting goals does not just apply to your career, your finances, or your fitness. Goals apply to every aspect of your life and that includes your relationship. If you are single and you’re sick of being that way, then you need to come up with a plan to change that and you need to approach it with the very same determination as you would any other type of goal.

What’s Holding You Back?

The first thing to do when trying to change the way you’re approaching your love life, is to look at what is holding you back.
For many people, it’s actually a lack of trying. Either they’ve been hurt before, they’ve lost confidence, or they just don’t realize they have to. But at the end of the day, if you’re tired of being single, then you need to work at this just as you would anything else. That might mean trying online dating, it might mean going to bars more, or it might mean just asking people out in the street.

While some people aren’t trying at all though, many other people are simply trying the wrong strategy or focussing on the wrong thing. These are the people who know they don’t want to be single any more but who aren’t quite sure how to change that. For example, if you want to have a more active sex life then you shouldn’t be dating your friends as that is more likely to lead to a long-term relationship. If you want a long-term relationship, then looking at bars or on Tinder is likewise misguided.

Actually, pining after friends is generally a bad idea and it’s something that can really waste your time unless you have a drastic plan to change the way they see you. And then there are people who simply fail to correctly assess their own desirability to certain groups.
Then there’s the chance that you’re doing everything right but just not getting results, in which case you need to focus on your approach. That might mean the way you present yourself, or the way you come across in conversation. Many of us will unintentionally come across as sleazy, as needy, as clingy, or as desperate – none of these things are going to help your chances!

How to Make the Change

Once you’ve identified the problem, it’s time to start making the change. The first thing to do is to make the commitment to be proactive. That means regularly approaching people, or signing up to online dating and putting in effort (just creating a profile is not enough) or to improving your approach and your swagger.Then you need to come up with a plan and think about how to make best use of your resources.

For instance, Facebook can be a surprisingly effective way to meet people and also to reconnect with old people. Perhaps there is an old flame you could start messaging? Or maybe you could add someone that you met at a party?If you’re shy of approaching the opposite sex, then maybe you should think of a way to work up to it and to build your confidence.Sometimes it means not taking the most obvious route but the most important thing is that you identify the weak points in your game and your strategy and then work to fix those.